I take drugs. And I mean I take a SHIT load of them. I take them for my back, then some more for the side effects from the ones for my back and some extra ones to stop having side effects from all the others I take. Probably some others too but by that point I am generally just smiling so am unlikely to remember.

You would have to be a special kind of stupid to think that you can just chuck these in a bag and roam around the world with them, and not expect to get banged up for a few years in a hell hole prison while declaring they were for you, and with your Mum appearing on morning TV saying what a good girl you are.

After a bit of hunting around I found myself on the government website https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/personal-import-export-licence-application-form and spoke to some very nice people who talked me through the quick and painless process that is getting a licence for my stash. I filled out the simple form, attached a specialist letter and GP summary, emailed it over and within 12 hours had my free licence. This is kept onboard with all the documentation and I have a photo of it saved to Dropbox. You only need to do this for the hard stuff, a list of which is on the website.

So what I am trying to get across is if you do have to travel with drugs follow the rules. They are not hard (unlike the drugs), there are people on the end of the phone who can help, it’s free and it’s important. I anticipate my retirement involving sun, gin and making my husband miserable. Not languishing in some prison because I didn’t spend 30 minutes filling out a form and making a quick phone call. Some things just aren’t worth the risk. Other things like buying a new handbag and 15 sets of bikinis and hoping Lee won’t find out are.